here, but only just a little.

i've been in ohio for a week and a half now. i already feel incredibly far removed from utah. i mean...was it really just a few days ago that i was going to finals and working in the newsroom and living in my own room and driving my car and making fires in my fireplace and driving up to slc to hang out and working in the theatre??

seems like a million years ago.

it's never the same when i come back here. i mean, there's a lot of the same people. it's fun to hang out with them and i always seem to make a few new friends when i come back. but somehow...everything is always a little different. i was here and then i left. there's a definite disconnect here. obviously i always know this will happen. it's still always kind of weird. things keep going after i leave. and i keep going after i go, too.

everytime i come here, i wonder if it will be the last time. sometimes it seems like it might be easier to leave and never come back. and yet...there's still a lot here.

everyone keeps asking. and honestly, i don't know.

so much has happened. so much i'm happy about and so much i'm angry about and so much that i'm confused about and so much that i just can't believe at all. so much. and it's only been a week.5. double weird that a week from right now...i'll be back in provo.

just thinking.

"Those who make happiness the chief objective of life are bound to fail, for happiness is a by-product rather than an end in itself."
-Elder Joseph B. Worthlin, November 1980

i never really thought about it like that.

practically christmas. omg.

nothing like christmas break to totally break any good habits you have formed over the course of a semester (such as eating and sleeping on a semi-regular basis) and turn you into something ridiculous and crazy that stays up late and works all the time and hangs out at other people's houses til the wee hours of the morning and lives out of a suitcase.

okay. i guess i always work a lot.

anyways, i would probably be lying if i said that i had even anticipated this "vacation" to be anything close to relaxing. between balancing a job, old friends, newer friends, family, my own personal time (for sleeping, running, or whatever) and everything else, there really isn't time to relax. at least when i get back, it will be a whole new slew of classes that i can fall behind in, instead of the ones i've already given up on in the past few months.

speaking of which, i'm thinking of getting a hobby. i won't be working nearly as much next semester and i will need to think of something to fill my time with. so far, i don't have any leads. but i'm working on it.

yay christmas tomorrow. glad i spent way more money than i had.

but if you can't spend too much money on the people you actually like in life, what's the point in saving it for dumb things for yourself for whatever else during the year? that's what i decided.

p.s. did i mention i had ridiculous layovers for the first time in my life this christmas? i spent an extra six hours in the salt lake airport (omg) plus a few more at o'hare. i guess everyone's got to pay their christmas layover dues sometime in their life...this happened to be my year. awesome.