nervous.

tonight is kind of big for me.

i'm being adjudicated for my lighting design for "children of eden."

basically, that means that someone is going to come and watch the show and tell the designers what he / she thinks of the stuff we did during the show. someone separate comes and does the same thing for the actors, but that's different. this one guy is all about the design things and...it makes me nervous.

granted, he / she could be totally into the costumes / sound / set / anything else and not even think twice about the lighting. but hopefully the adjudicator will have some things to say about my design choices and i can get some good feedback about what i've been doing for the past few months.

and what makes me even more nervous?

my parents will be there. and my sisters. and my brother. and my brother-in-law. and some family friends and one of my other friends too...but mostly i am nervous for the first three of the series.

i have been doing theatre for almost a decade now, and my parents have never (not once) come to see a show that i have worked on. maybe it doesn't count as "real theatre" if i'm not onstage, but doing lighting or sound or other things like that is just what i like better, so that's what i do. but now...the last mainstage design of my college life...and they will be there to see it.

obviously this show is a culmination of months of work for me, as well as many other designers and actors and other such people. but mostly...i hope my parents like it.