party's over. everyone can go home now.

gosh. can i just say that the sheer number of people i know that were at one point engaged and aren't anymore (and it's not because they got married...) is really disheartening?

say what you will: blame the "utah culture" that forces people to feel like they need to marry someone if they consented to dating you for four solid months and they're at least a half-decent kisser. blame the over-eager college students who refuse to graduate without finding their eternal companion. blame the church leaders, who constantly remind everyone that once you leave utah -- there won't be mormons everywhere anymore (!!!!! shocker, i know) so you've got to tie one down before you hit the road.

they say it's better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all, right? i don't know. the jury's still out on that one. but either way... wow. so much heartbreak in such a small city.

words of wisdom from a bunch of 20-somethings.

my ward in provo is a little...different, for lack of a better word. i've been to a lot of wards, and i've never seen or experienced a group quite like ours. like, on fast sundays, you literally have to go up to the stand within the first ten minutes or you won't be able to bear your testimony because everyone else will. very...not-shy. very...smart. very...talkative. so today during the third hour, we sat together in a circle in the gym (yes...we meet in a real church building) and bishop opened up the floor for everyone to share some wisdom with everyone else. and gosh. there was a lot said. before i forget them all...here is the short version of a few i can remember.

* life is good.

* be patient...timing is everything.

* learn from other people's mistakes.

* re-read the general conference talks.

* don't be afraid to feel happy / sad / love / fear / etc.

* listen to your parents.

* there are two kinds of people in the world: the ones you love and the ones you don't know yet.

* lose yourself in service.

* cherish every moment, because you never know what might happen in the next one.

* listen more intently.

* enjoy the little things.

* always smile.

* you are where you are for a reason.

* the secret to good relationships: learn as much as you can about a person. do all of the things that make them happy and don't do any of the things that make them sad.

* follow promptings.

* don't idle away your time.

* you'd better like the road you are on because it will take you wherever it is going.

* live and learn.

* He lives in you.

summertime.

- you can literally smell the super-freshness of the fruits and vegetables at the store.

- it's still light outside at 8:30 PM.

- it's nice and warm even when it's dark out.

- you don't have to go to SCHOOL (being graduated helps too).

- t-shirts. shorts. flip flops. that's it.

- you can bake cookies in your car (if it's 90ish degrees out).

** not even kidding. try it out yourself. **

- actually letting my hair air-dry and not freezing to death.

- driving with the windows down.

- summer is awesome.

p.s. there's going to be a lunar eclipse this weekend.

how cool is that? -- saturday morning: between 4:17 and 5:38 AM ( :

p.s.s. pretty sure that eclipse doesn't have anything to do with next week's opening of "the twilight saga: eclipse." gosh...at least, i hope not. wouldn't that be clever marketing?

p.s.s.s. is it weird that they call it a "saga," like it's comparable to star wars or something? because...seriously. it's vampires.

things that are ridiculous.

1. one of my projects today included making a map of the world out of tic tacs...seriously. since ferrero (the company that makes tic tacs -- AND ferrero rocher chocolates and nutella!) is crazy, only lame colors are sold in most stores. remember when there was light green spearmint or dark green other mint? good luck finding them...all you'll find is "green apple." so we got those -- 8 giant packs. and since there are no blue tic tacs, we got food coloring and dyed white ones (another 8 packs) so we could make oceans and stuff. anyways, it was a fun project and now we have...a glass full of green and blue (white mint) tic tacs.

2. the world cup is happening. north korea got blown out by portugal on monday by SEVEN GOALS. if you don't watch soccer, that is a lot. the north korean government had allowed the game to be broadcast live (which they basically never do) so after the terrible loss, they abruptly ended the broadcast and cut to a clip of factory workers praising their leader, kim jong il. i feel bad for north korea...their country isn't doing too hot since everyone is accusing them of having nuclear weapons and they haven't qualified for the world cup in 44 years. then i learned they only have one state-run tv channel, they ban shortwave foreign radio broadcasts and restrict internet access to rich people. WOW. remind me to never go there.

2 1/2. team usa has advanced to the second round in the world cup and team chile needs a win or a tie on friday against spain to make it through. yay chile!

3. general mcchrystal was just removed from his position of commander of troops in afghanistan because of some mean things he said in rolling stone magazine about the current administration. president obama said he showed "poor judgment" during his interview. seriously? pretty sure we have been counting on his judgment to lead our country in our war on the middle east.

4. my little brother is officially one month away from being TWELVE. how is that even possible?!

5. sometimes i bookmark things on my computer, forget about them and then find them later. like this article about how drinking slushies before working out will help you keep running longer ( :

butter heals burns.

you know how facebook puts those ads on the column on the side and tries to cater them to your personality and interests?? well...

...who told them about my documentary?

it's actually kind of scary that they know me so well.

also...an ad for FREE DRUGS?! gosh. scary.

in other news, i'm about to go running and it feels awesome. i'm still not in shape like i was before i ruined my knee, but i've been using my new shoes (thanks mom and dad!) for the past two weeks. and the first week was semi-painful but now it feels sort of better (i think).

yay for legs that work.

^ NEW SHOES on my feet. love love love.

also, this past weekend i learned that (contrary to popular belief) butter does NOT heal burns. in fact, you are not supposed to put butter anywhere near burns, because it is actually very bad for them. the kardashian sisters must not have an awesome mom like mine to tell me the right answers for everything.

so, just because you see something on tv,

that doesn't always mean it's a good idea.

...same goes for getting silly tattoos of shields and hearts on your arm because you are trying to be "more normal." gosh.

meow.

hello. welcome to my life as a kitten.

it's been kind of a crazy past couple of days, and i'd be lying if i said i had more than a hazy recollection of much of anything. mostly, it's been a combination of me being sick and sleeping...a lot. for many of the days, it was probably a 3 to 1 ratio -- with me being awake for an hour or two and then sleeping for six. and when i was awake, i was taking medicine that made me feel sleepy. so if i could describe my weekend in one word, it'd probably be blurry.

but the parts that i do (sort of) remember were fun. there was a birthday party for brother-in-law mike, which had lots of cake. we barbecued at emily & andrew's, which i made a yummy strawberry walnut salad for. i know i went to church yesterday. oh...and i definitely saw toy story 3 -- AWESOME. and we watched the kardashians take miami...can't forget that.

i'm starting to feel better, but i do still feel super-tired when i realize i've been awake more than 4 or 5 consecutive hours. *sigh.* being a kitten is exhausting.

OH!!! and i almost forgot. i had the coolest dream ever. i was the star of a cirque du soleil show that took place in like a huge ocean. i had to do all these crazy dives and swim through this obstacle course and fly through the air on a wire trapeze. the best way i can describe it is: the lion king meets little mermaid. it was a pretty long dream and i remember it in very vivid detail, which is unusual for me. just another perk of being asleep for the majority of the weekend...

decisions, decisions.

oh my life is changing everyday

in every possible way.

and my dreams, it's never quite as it seems

never quite as it seems.

gosh. i never realized how things could get so crazy in such a short amount of time. i knew i would finish high school and go to college and i knew i would graduate...all of those things i could see myself doing. somehow, though, i never really envisioned how things would be after. and now that i'm faced with the decision of where to start the rest of my life...my mind is drawing a blank. i've never pictured myself done with college, having a real job. and yet: here i am.

i've thrown all my pieces in the air and now they are starting to fall, like so many pieces of colorful confetti fluttering to the ground in little bunches at a surprise birthday party.

now i just need to decide which pieces to keep...

things that are ironic.

- without fail, i ALWAYS lock my car doors. but until i moved to pleasant grove, i probably only locked my house two or three times in my life. also, there is nothing of value in my car (unless you really want a half-eaten box of multi-grain cheerios and a glove box full of fast food napkins, in which case, mr. robber, it's all yours).

- on the TVJobs website (where i was applying for jobs today), each company has to check whether or not they are an equally-opportunity employer. who's seriously going to admit they're not?

- all of the people who are trying out to be the food network's next "big star" are terrible on camera. don't they know that they are auditioning to have their own TV show and will therefore need to talk and cook things at the same time?

- i got a haircut this weekend. as the guy who did my hair said, it's "asymmetrical," which i have never tried, but sort of really like. the ironic part? now that i'm actually looking for a real life job, i decide to get a crazy fun haircut. stupid? maybe. but i like it so i don't care. plus, if brother c. is right, my news director will tell me to cut it anyways, so i might as well enjoy it while i can.

- i never wanted to come to utah. and now i can't bear to leave*.

I JUST WANT TO BE ROOMMATES WITH BABY DUSTIN!!!

(* or: for better or worse, can't seem to get out of here)

you know you live in a sketchy neighborhood when...

...you get "evacuated" in the middle of the night by 2 cops and they tell you that you need to go spend the night somewhere else.

eesh.

i don't want to admit i live in a shady neighborhood so guess what? i'm a reporter. i did what i do best: some research.

* in the past 30 days, there have been 11 thefts, 1 sexual assault and 2 acts of breaking and entering in a 1/4 mile radius of the house (4-plex) i live in now.

* for the sake of comparison, my old house (a duplex) has had 2 assaults, 2 thefts from a vehicle, 2 regular thefts and 1 act of breaking and entering within the same distance over the same period of time.

* and my neighborhood in ohio? just 1 report of breaking and entering in the area in the past month. granted, i think they were only counting the columbus police, so maybe the dublin police has had more reports.

so, based solely on these bits of information, i would like to conclude (even though i should try to search for more data...i just don't have time today) that dublin, ohio has significantly less crime than our neighborhoods in innocent, little utah. who knew? not me. but that's how the numbers shake down this time around. glad ruth and drew have me in the habit of locking our doors...that's something i didn't do for about 99% of my college life.

i'll admit, i'm probably a little more trusting than i should be. when i went to lunch yesterday, i toyed with the idea of leaving my backpack (with my laptop, portable hard drive, wallet, car keys and gps inside of it, among other things) unattended in the newsroom (yes -- i am sort of an idiot, thanks). i know crime happens...but it just seems like it would never happen to me. and that's probably the type of attitude that will get my stuff stolen someday.

the situation last night was a little unusual...one of our neighbors was robbed (to the tune of about $4500) and the cops found most of their stuff at a pawn shop...except for the stolen guns (yikes). the #1 suspect is another one of our neighbors who is apparently a bit behind on rent who has magically decided to skip town (smooth move, dude). so the cops were thinking he'd come back last night for round two, but i don't think that happened. better safe than sorry though -- especially with stolen weapons still out there somewhere.

one of the most important things i've learned as a reporter is that there are tons of things the government has that are public information but that many people never care to look at. one of these is police reports. so...how dangerous is your neighborhood? check it out: crimereports.com.

so stay safe...because you never know who might be lurking...

unhappy?

a few years ago, newsweek magazine did a poll that concluded that 67% of americans are unhappy with the way things were going in the u.s. isn't that sad? that's 2 out of every 3 people in the entire country! anyways. here's what jay leno said about it:

"is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter? could it be that 95.4% of these unhappy folks have a job? maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than darfur has seen in the last year? i guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough. or it could be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.

"you may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top-notch equipment to extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your belongings. or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss. this all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. neighborhoods where 90% of teenagers own cell phones and computers. how about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world. maybe that is what has 67% of you folks unhappy."

anyways. he kind of goes off on a tirade against the media, which i can't say i agree with, but let's be honest. even on my worst days...it's really not so bad.

stories about cars and stuff.

1. after helping clean mikey's car this weekend (or standing next to him and watching...whatev), i've been itching to clean mine out. unfortunately, i can't find an extension cord for our vacuum, there's no electrical outlets outside near where we park and i don't have any quarters to clean it at a gas station. but then today i got an oil change and the people there vacuumed my car for me for freeee.

2. also they changed one of the bulbs* in my headlight (*i originally wrote "lamps," because that's what we call them in the theatre. but it sounds funny in real life), which was great. it still sort of looks like the orange plastic is melting off the headlight, but they said it was okay and i guess i should trust the car people, right?

3. while i was waiting for my oil to be changed, there was this old lady in the waiting room who was watching the tv and making random comments very loudly to no one in particular. when no one acknowledged her, she would just talk louder. i hope i never get old.

4. while i had cars on the brain, i decided to stop at the store and get a battery for my car door opener, since mine hasn't worked for as long as i can remember. i brought it home, changed it out and still...it doesn't work. thoughts? suggestions?

5. also on my way home from the store, i drove behind this car that had their hazard lights flashing for like 3 miles (and farther, i'm sure, i just had to go home instead of following them until they figured it out) and it reminded me of when i was in high school and i would turn my friend's hazard lights on while he was driving and i thought it was hilarious. looking back...i was so stupid. oh well.

6. as i drove past the car with the flashing hazards, i noticed it was a lady who was like a zillion years old. i secretly wondered if she was the same lady from the oil change place and once again, i secretly wished to never get old. or at least not old and crazy.

7. why doesn't my car door opener work?? ) :

new fav song.

i love this song lately.

it just seems to fit with everything.

enjoy.

"so let the wind blow us

to wherever it says

we're supposed to go"

- courtesy of mikey b.

(my source of awesome new music)

the little things: part 2.

instead of focusing on things that are stressing me out, think about the little things. find the tender mercies in life and be grateful for what i have instead of being concerned about things i can't control. and everyday, write down something or a few things. here they are...no particular order: may 2010.

a zillion shady trees. driving with the windows down. putting the right things first. but then he did. heat therapy. making it up the stairs. kind of looked great. learning from mistakes. neither this nor that. eyebrow raise from across the room. offered to go with me. tore me to pieces and put me back together. one suggestion. lost. nice long talk. found it right where i left it. somehow woke me up. doesn't hurt as much as my other leg (in comparison). zoomed past me. they seemed to like them. saying "see you later" instead of "goodbye." nice and sunny. new cake holder thing. theatre family. recognized on a national level for being awesome. boy in the red shirt with the comfy suit jacket who offered to let me wear it. being alone in the middle of nowhere. whispered it to me. everyday. done. arm around me. caught the frisbee. "miss you, kiddo." three holes in one. enjoy it while you can.

so...what's good in your life today?