a little sad.

today was [[like that]].

it's a weird combination of...
-being homesick, but not wanting to go home
-and not wanting to stay where i am, but not knowing where i want to go
-and not wanting to leave, but not wanting other people to leave me
-and not wanting to be around other people, but not wanting to be alone
-and wanting to be comforted, but also wanting someone to tell me that sometimes things are just messed up and that's how it is and there's nothing more to do about it
-and anger and frustration and sadness and happiness
-and a bright open future, but an uncertain one as well
-and wanting nothing and everything all at once